Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I tend to drop a few f-bombs. Well not a few, I say it A LOT. I mean it’s not a big deal is it? I was raised in a good ole Catholic home where saying something as innocent as shut up or stupid was not acceptable. Both my parents never said a bad word to save their life and now their three children……well lets just say we’ve made up for them.

For me there is no better way to vent frustration than to let a good ole “fuck” out. I know it’s not appropriate for women to swear or Mommy’s (insert eye roll), but it’s a very good stress reliever, right? When something goes wrong, saying “oh, sugar”, or “darn”, or any other less vulgar word doesn’t really seem to help. But a good ole fuck do! I’ve heard people say that there’s nothing worse sounding than a woman swearing. Why? Because it’s not lady like? I don’t put the Lord’s name in vain since well that’s breaking the ten commandments and my catholic roots tell me not to, but any other curse word is fair game!

What about swearing in front of the kids? Yup I do that too. I know, I know, I’m a bad mom. I mean my poor boys will never grow up to be kind, considerate or loving men having a Mom who swears? Whatever! They know it’s not nice. And yes there are times when even they say “Mom!” when I let more than one word slip out. I do try to be more aware around them when I say it…..so it’s more intentional. There have only been a couple times when they’ve picked up my bad habit. Like this one time when Todd was 3 or 4, he was downstairs playing on the floor when Shane and I hear “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” We look at each other and then back to Todd. Uh Oh. We didn’t think he understood what he was saying so we asked him.

“Todd, what are you saying?”

“Awful fucking state here” he replied.

At least he used it in the right context right? Mom fail. So we were quick to teach him that word was not a nice word to say and we’ve tried to be more aware with our choice of words around the boys. A couple days later he was watching Elmo. Coincidently the letter of the day was “F” (You know where I’m going with this right?). He seemed to be very interested in this episode, absorbing all the knowledge. Then Todd turns to me and says “Mom, F is for fuck!”

“Well, umm yes it is. But little boys don’t say that word. Let’s have another chat shall we?”

He didn’t say that word in front of us again. It makes a funny story now but when it was happening I felt embarrassed. Whose kid swears? Not Mine!

Fast forward to this year and well lets just say I felt a little guilty when my 9 year old made us a swear jar. Oops. Although in my defense, I think he just wanted the money for v-bucks on Fort Nite. When I swear I don’t do it to hurt or offend people. I genuinely use it as a form of expression. The kids hear a lot worse in school. Take for example this one day when I was running around the house playing with the boys when all of a sudden Todd looks at me and says “Mom, you run like a bitch!” He’s smiling at me as proud as ever as if he’s giving me a compliment.

“What did you call me?”I ask.

“A bitch.” He says innocently.

“Do you know what that means?” I ask.

” Yes, it’s a female dog.” He answered.

My son thought he was giving me a compliment when he called me a bitch. I mean I know I’m a fast runner and all but I’m not that fast! Where did he hear that word? Because lets be honest, bitch is not my word of choice when I swear. “On the bus.” He answers. Exactly. If I never said a swear word in my life, he still would hear it in school! Time for another chat.

In all seriousness though, I think swearing is not that big of a deal, but I do think it should be said as an adult. I think our kids need to be informed and educated on the meaning and use of the words so that it’s not used to hurt someone. We told the boys if they want to swear they have to wait til they’re an adult. Then they are free to use whatever forms of verbal expression they want.

Words are only damaging or hurtful if you give them power. If poop had the scientific name shit, it wouldn’t be a big deal, right? Instead of saying shit happens, poop happens? Nope, don’t sound right. What about instead of saying “oh, for fuck sake”, we say, for Pete’s sake or Heaven’s sake? First of all, who in the heck is this Pete guy and what did he do to get his name in here? To me, saying fuck sake, expresses how pissed off I am. Heaven sake or Pete sake seems a little less frustrated. I don’t know, am I the only one that feels this way?

The most important thing about swearing for me is that I try not to do it in public. If I do, I make sure there’s no one around close enough to hear it, especially kids. Like for instance, going to the grocery store here for the millionth time to get fruit and there’s none there or it’s all rotten…..Well, I might mutter a fuck sakes under my breathe, but I don’t shout it so the entire store could hear…..although if I did, would that help in getting better quality fruit and veggies? I’m asking for a friend. It’s not that I think swearing is wrong, it’s that I care about people’s feelings and I try to respect them just like I hope they would respect mine.

The point is that I’m not perfect, nor do I try to be. Maybe one day I’ll try to stop. Or maybe one day I’ll realize that it makes me who I am, and I like who I am. Swearing does not make you a bad person. Being a bad person makes you a bad person. Simple. So if you like to swear, swear! And if you don’t, don’t!! Most people are just trying to survive and get through the day and if that means saying a few fucks along the way, then do it! I know I do!